It's time for a Cakespy Confession: we don't like holidays.

The traffic's bad. The crowds are obnoxious. And all of our favorite bakeries are closed for the day.

However, what we do love is sweet stuff, and causing mischief--and so, in an effort to make the 4th of July more fun, we've concocted some trompe-l'œil treats to make this 4th of July the sweetest one yet!

Here's what we suggest this Fourth of July:

For the main course, why not try a sweetburger? Ours were made by slicing an unfrosted cupcake in half, and inserting a round of "patty" of chocolatey goodness cut from a brownie, and instead of healthy lettuce, a healthy dollop of vanilla buttercream with a drop of green food dye. We garnished the top of the cupcake "bun" with some chocolate sprinkles, adhered with sugar water.

If you're not a burger person, perhaps you'd go for a Twinkie "Hot Dog"? (Cakespy Note: Anyone who's seen UHF will appreciate this one, we hope.) We made ours by first slicing a twinkie lengthwise (but leaving it connected at the bottom, so it would resemble a hot dog bun), then inserting sugar cookie halves so that the slightly browned edges showed outward (though we think a log of cookie dough would do as well!). We then covered up the "gap" between cookie halves with a pipe of yellow frosting. So bad, but so good.

And as for side dishes? Ours are tooth-numbingly sweet, comprising

of a Faux-tato Potato Salad--a melange of coconut flakes and white chocolate chips held together with a thick dollop of vanilla buttercream--and, of course, no 4th of July would be complete without some baked beans--Boston Baked Beans, that is, straight from the package.

Of course, if all else fails, just pour a package or ten of Pop Rocks into a batch of cupcakes and their frosting--just like fireworks in your mouth!

Happy Fourth of July!