CakeSpy Note: This is part of a series of Pie Slam Profiles, featuring the recipes and stories of each of the 9 entrants in last week's Pi(e) Day Pie Slam! This entry, for an extremely tasty apple pie (which was helpfully labeled "PIE" in case you were in doubt as to what it was) was submitted by cute-as-can-be Seattle University student Max Snyder. Here's his story, followed by his recipe:

"When Baking In A College Dorm" - A parable by Max Snyder

I hear you like pie, and that's why you came;
It is quite understandable; there isn't any shame.
But before you take a slice, a morsel, a bite;
I'll tell you this pie's story of what occurred on that fateful night.

Dark, cold, and pouring down rain;
The Seattle skies threw a downpour upon the window pane.
Thunder cracked and raindrops fell;
The puddles and ponds began to swell.

Whilst inside, bustling like bank clerk;
The baker was busy at his work.
With the heat of the oven to fend off the frigid cold,
A pie dough was slowly being rolled.

Apples, cinnamon, and a pinch of the secret spice;
Only the best ingredients would suffice.
All chopped up and ready to go,
Dough and filling created an ideal tableaux.

With this pie he would enter the pastry contest;
Just to see how his apple confection compared to all the rest.

Pie into the oven - preheated just right,
Little did the baker know what would happen that night.
For the baker’s kitchen was very different from the norm;
He was baking in a college dorm.

“What’s all this mess,” his RA inquires;
When really, its his pie that his RA desires.
Next comes the weird guy from a couple of doors down;
Who hangs out on the couch in just his night gown.

A few jocks and bros soon arrive;
Throwing out “yo’s!” and lots of high fives.
And then, despite their mutual dislike;
The art kids arrive like they just finished a hunger strike.

The small college kitchen fills more and more;
When the baker has to tell them to all go to the door.
“This pie’s not for you!” he yelled over the grumbles and protests;
“But where will we get our pie?” ask the quite girl in the polka-dot dress.

At this moment the baker had a change of heart;
He was baking a pie, he didn’t want to be a tart.
“You’re right!” he exclaimed;
“Pies are meant to be shared, not to be framed”

Thus everyone had a slice because it was terribly good;
And the baker made another pie just because he could.

Max's Apple Pie

Crust

2 3/4 cups flour
1 tablespoon flour
a wee bit of salt
1 cup of shortening
some butter (depending on your mood)
3 tablespoons of water
3 tablespoons of vodka

Filling

3/4 cup sugar; brown is usually better
1/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
6 cups thinly sliced apples (thinner and smaller apple pieces are better)
2 tablespoons butter

Procedure

Cut in all of the crust ingredients into the flour except the water and vodka. Alternate adding tablespoons of vodka and water and mixing between each. Stop adding liquid when it becomes moist. Split into two balls, one slightly larger and one smaller. Try and fit it into your tiny college fridge for about 20 minutes.
Mix filling together. Well that was simple.
Roll out crust. Don't fear, just take is slowly.
Put the bottom crust in the pie dish and fill with the filling. Cover with the upper crust. Fork the edges and cut vents in the top. Remove excess crust. Maybe put a visual pun on top.
Put in oven preheated to 425°F. Surround with a ring of foil to prevent the crust from browning to quickly. Remove the foil for the last 15 minutes. Bake for 40-50 minutes.
Most important step: Allow to cool by an open window. By subjecting your pie to this treatment, it gains local flavor from the outside air.